Backhand of Justice

More like Old Super Mario Brothers Wii, am I right? While New Super Mario Bros. Wii might have new power-ups, new levels and a new multiplayer mode, there is nothing new about this game.

Ask yourself a question: do you like Super Mario World? If the answer is yes, then you’re going to love New Super Mario Bros. Wii (NSMBW). Also, don’t be fooled for a minute by the claims of a ‘cooperative’ mode as it is nothing of the sort. That mode is actually called ‘face punching’ mode as you will want to punch the person you’re playing with in their stupid face.

NSMBW has a lot to like about it, but there are also some significant problems that stand in the way of the fun. Also, the 100% increase in face punching compared to most games could use some work. read more

I was among the doubters when Bioware promised Dragon Age would be the spiritual successor to Baldur’s Gate, but consider me a believer. Dragon Age is not without its flaws, but if you have ever enjoyed a single player Role Playing Game, you must play this game. read more

I’m a sucker for loot. The item hunt in Borderlands was like an addictive drug to me; I tried to inject the guns directly into my veins. I can’t fully discuss the details as my lawsuit with Heckler & Koch is still pending.

It should come as no surprise, then, that Torchlight holds the same appeal. I can say across the board that the things I expected would be fun in Torchlight, are, and it so closely lived up to my expectations that I’m going to approach this review slightly differently.

You know what’s good about Torchlight. It’s an extremely addictive game with a great art style, effective character customization and relentless pacing. Runic Games have taken Diablo 2 and streamlined the gameplay. At $20 it’s the best deal since The Orange Box. To reiterate: Torchlight = incredible.

In this review, however, I’m instead going to discuss what went wrong in Torchlight (hint: not much). read more

Imagine waking up on Christmas morning. It’s early and nobody’s awake, so you sneak down to check out the tree. Lo and behold, presents everywhere! Now, imagine that those presents are Skags, viciously snapping at your heels. Instead of Christmas morning, it’s the future and you’re in a post apocalyptic wasteland, and there are guns, and bandits … you know what, this metaphor is terrible. Long story short: Borderlands is an incredible and addicting game.

Borderlands seamlessly merges first person shooting with role playing mechanics into a package that is the best and most addictive game I’ve played in some time. The ‘just one more gun’ mechanics will draw you into the game and the solid shooting and co-op tomfoolery will keep you there for a good long while.

If you like shooters, you must play Borderlands. If you like RPGs, you must play Borderlands. If you only play Spider Solitaire between phone calls, you must play Borderlands. [For all ‘X’, ‘X must play Borderlands.’] read more

I wanted to like this game. I love the adulation of heavy metal music and the simultaneous reverence and lightheartedness with which the game treats its narrative and characters. I was even on board with Jack Black. I was rooting for you, Tim Schafer.

The bottom line, however, is that this game just isn’t fun to play at any point. While there are brief highlights, this is a clumsily executed disaster which was only as glorified as it was because of its creator and cast list. It is an unfortunate fact that adventure games, with their threadbare gameplay mechanics, might be the only genre at which the creative and charming Mr. Schafer can excel.

Brutal Legend is a short game, and it might be worth renting it to see the inspired character and environment design and listen to some of the genuinely hilarious dialogue. If there’s a good YouTube compilation video out there, however, you’re probably better off with that. read more

Uncharted 2: Among Thieves is like a Michael Bay film: you correctly anticipate every plot twist and the characters are one-dimensional archetypes yet despite that you still have a great time. You know Nathan Drake. You know Elena, Sully and Lazarevic; you can probably recite their lines for them. This is a pulp adventure serial come to life, only this time you get to take the reins and save the day.

Uncharted 2 is a brilliantly executed game fleshed out into an engrossing experience through the tiny oft-overlooked details, whether it’s the characters’ lifelike body language, Drake’s running banter or the way your clothes get wet when you take a swim. The combat is smooth and well executed, the gameplay is varied and the pacing is rarely too slow or too frenetic. Finally, the comedic vein that infuses the whole experience is charming.

Among Thieves is not a perfect game. There are minor control issues, the action set pieces can be a bit much and there are minor checkpoint annoyances. That being said, if you own a PS3, you can’t go wrong with Uncharted 2. read more

Scribblenauts was one of my most anticipated games this year. Every time I heard about it, my mind wildly devised increasingly Rube Goldberg-esque solutions to imagined problems. Unfortunately, Scribblenauts is not at all the game I was expecting, and in reality it falls massively short of its admittedly brilliant concept.

I must admit that this won’t technically be a review. While I will get into what Scribblenauts did right and wrong, I will do so briefly as I did not complete the game and technically don’t want to review a game when I haven’t seen all the content.

For reference, I completed the first half of both the puzzle and action worlds and so this article is relevant only to that content. Maybe the game radically changes at the halfway mark. Somehow I doubt that’s the case.

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 I am not a Batman fan. I don’t read the comics or watch the cartoon and I am not obsessed with the films. That being said, Batman: Arkham Asylum is a masterpiece that seamlessly integrates all of Batman’s skills into a tight package that nearly sustains its brilliance all the way to the end.

This is not to say it’s without flaws, but if you’re looking for a solid single player story that mixes action, stealth and simple puzzle mechanics, you won’t go wrong with this game. read more

 I love off road racing games. I loved Motorstorm and all its iterations and the original Dirt was a great if flawed game. Dirt 2, however, supplants the competition by a healthy margin. Its mix of style and driving physics are unparalleled and the variety between its race modes and tracks is significant.

It’s a little disappointing that the leveling system wasn’t as well executed as it could have been, or that the tracks become somewhat repetitive by the end of the game, but those are minor quibbles. Dirt 2 is a worthy successor to the impressive original and I have to dig fairly deep to find even the smallest criticism. read more