Backhand of Justice

Iggy Pop shirtless through the years teaches me two things: first, getting old is disgusting. But also that Iggy Pop looks remarkably good for a really long time. Maybe heroin is really the secret to growing old gracefully?

Keep reading for Animal Crossing, the serial wounder and the greatest rock climbing expedition in the world!

Videogame Links

Interesting

Can you name videogames from a single screenshot? Getting them right adds to your time limit. I got 25 or 30 before running out of time but I wish you could see the ones you  missed / skipped.

Animal Crossing was a game that was not at all on my radar. Fortunately, somebody has put up an extensive examination in visual form that reveals just how horrifying and sophisticated the story really is. This should be in all sections at once as it’s both interesting, funny and shameful. In all seriousness, the game would have been far better if this was the design.

Talkin’ about Bioshock Infinite. Giant Bomb is already the best games site on the internet. If they would just add these freestyle videos where they discuss things instead of writing any articles, it would be the best site in general on the internet.

John Carmack once again takes a shit on the face of all other programmers in the world. This is ridiculous and incredible. Too bad I have no interest in it, but I have to admit he’s still the grand master of them all.

Analysis of the new Yakuza game by actual members of the Yakuza. After reading this, the Yakuza should really diversify into stand up comedy.

You'd think if you were in the crime industry that you wouldn't tag your entire body with obvious tattoos. Makes it slightly easier for the cops to identify you

Hopefully Curt Schilling’s new game is going to be successful as I heard that he’s ‘all in’ financially on the project. Hopefully they don’t have their loan revoked by whiny state governments either.

Dragon Age was a great game. Maybe too great? Considering Bioware is trying to appease console players by turning the sequel into a bag of shit, that’s probably true.

There videos about FPS games in real life are gold, especially when they perfectly capture the brilliance of Time Crisis. God I miss that game.

Funny

Jeff and Brad at Giant Bomb talk about YooStar 2 which is apparently a game where you insert yourself into famous film scenes and reenact them. I think this is the next big use for Kinect etc. and actually looks hilarious and fun.

You're not going to fall for the banana in the tailpipe, are you?

Penny Arcade examines all that makes things right in the world of MMORPG’s with their latest comic ‘The Sixth Slave.’ Well played, gentlemen. Naturally, people got outraged and they had to post a response to the responders.

Just Cause 2 was a boring game with a graphics engine that made me nauseous almost instantly. I have to admit though – some of the crazy shit people can do in the game is hilarious. The airzooka? (Impressive physics engine, by the way). Incredible re-catching helicopter right before impact? Finally realizing the dream of the whale explosion? Noice. Still – I don’t know if any of those can compare to the shark launcher.

Mass Effect 2 characters’ Facebook pages are good. Not as good as the Star Wars ones were.

Most flash games are disappointing, but Flak Boy is at least creative. Try to kill the flak boy in the most elaborate way possible is tougher than it appears.

I guess the Oregon Trail just wasn’t exciting enough. I guess Excite Oregon Trail Bike is the new hotness.

I have brought great shame to my family

Everybody is tired of Guitar Hero plastic instruments. Everybody wants to throw shit into that volcano in Iceland. The new more realistic music game has merged these two dreams into some sort of super combo fever dream.

Oh Rare … how the mighty have fallen. What happened to the heady days of Diddy Kong Racing, Banjo Kazooie and most of all Goldeneye?

Of all the things you need to buy with your money, a teflon coated metal mouse pad is probably not high on the list. Especially because their earlier ad showing someone grilling burgers on it was a lie! Outrageous.

The Sega office redecorates a co-workers desk to be a recreation of the Green Hill Zone. Ah Sonic … those were the days.

Who wouldn't want to work in this lush wonderland?

Non-Videogame Links

Interesting

I like infographics. I like sharks (unless they’re eating me). I probably was going to like this from the start.

Apple has filed a patent for what might be their next big project! The Smart Bike. The iBike? It’s going to be HUGE!

This looks like a fake CGI cloud but the reactions of the birds and the people is at least partially convincing. The death cloud!

You think Tiger Woods is minted? Sure, maybe relative to today’s athletes, but maybe not vs. the great athletes of the past!

Now that squid have learned how to fly they will no longer rule the ocean with an iron fist, but the land and air as well. I, for one, welcome our new squid overlords.

Here is an artist's rendition of what the squid might look like just before they attack. Of course, by the time you get this picture it will already be far too late

Jetblue is an airline that has treated me fairly well in the past. Sadly, they don’t have a great sense of humor. Don’t they know jokes are even funnier when employee safety is involved?

Funny

Sometimes people get the foolish idea that they want to go rock climbing. Sometimes people want to not shit their pants. Unfortunately, there is no union between these two desires. It’s just a matter of odds.

I don’t understand why people don’t like Justin Bieber so much – he’s  just another musician where you’re not the target audience. Do people become outraged that Sesame Street exists because it doesn’t cover the adult topics that are important to their life, or push the envelope? Still – he handles being hit in the face with a water bottle like a champ.

Great Carrie Underwood karaoke? Or greatest Carrie Underwood karaoke?

I’m skeptical of your repair claims. Maybe you’re just massively lazy? I’ll give them the benefit of the doubt.

Jon Stewart is pretty hit or miss lately, but occasionally he has a good segment. This time on the deficit.

I have brought great shame to my family

Even serial killers want to be good at their jobs. Too bad this guy wasn’t exactly the greatest in the world. Go down to the victims section. Serial wounder? I guess he got somebody in the end.

There are risks to viewing most of the internet on a weekly basis to find interesting stuff. Well, risk. Essentially – that you find something like this. I know it’s made up. Why is this here, though?

The water bottle jetpack doesn’t quite go as planned. Shocking!

Donald Duck you sly dog.

Here's Donald running from the cops again. Didn't you ever wonder why he doesn't wear pants? Convenience

This guy clearly has way too much time on his hands. Do you know what he could have been doing instead of all that driving? Inventing cold fusion, that’s what! But no, now I have to sit in the dark here like a sucker because I ran out of seals to burn to power my lights. Are you happy now?

That’s all for this week. Did I miss anything? Hit up the comments!