Friday Links: The Wizard Edition
There are only three videogame movies that hold a special spot in my heart: Street Fighter (Van Damme edition), Mortal Kombat (and its hilarious 3 inch tall Goro stop animation model) … and The Wizard. Being involved in The Wizard and The Princess Bride are possibly the only reasons I haven’t murdered Fred Savage yet for sucking so much. Watch your back though, Fred, you’re still on the watch list.
There’s so much right with this clip. Except if you’re the kid with the power glove – you were cast as the douche because you have a douchey face.
Read on for more delicious Thanksgiving links goodness.
Videogame Links
Interesting
If there’s one thing you should take away from this chart, it’s that Greenland has a serious giant squid problem. As Americans with the most powerful military in the world, it’s shameful that we’re not doing anything about it.
British Judge takes a sick day to play Modern Warfare 2 … poorly done, sir. Everybody knows personal days are for playing videogames. Sick days are for partying too hard the previous night.
New York State will now issue emergency alerts through Xbox Live. Apparently that’s the only way to reach kids these days if there’s a tsunami or hurricane or something (in New York?). The state was finally spurred into action after the great Xbox culling of 2003.
Amateurs are remaking Commander Keen, the first PC game I ever played. What have I learned from watching these videos? That Commander Keen sucked badly and I’m shocked I found it fun at the time.
How did I ever think this shit was good? More like Commander Suck, amirite? LOLROFLMAO!!111
Incredible day/night cycle in Assassins Creed 2 time lapse video. This should be played in middle schools, as it’s at least as useful a teaching aid as The Oregon Trail was (which is to say not useful at all). I might reconsider however after finding Assassins Creed has 100% less Bison murder.
Quake in a browser. Amazing that my computer at the time of release couldn’t run this thing.
Charming World of Warcraft 5 year anniversary video. Sigh … I miss you guys 
Funny
Much like Mrs. Doubtfire, or The Brave Little Toaster, MegaMan had a lot of things we didn’t understand as kids. Clearly lots of perverts at Capcom … disgusting.
Get into the van … I have, uh … Pikachu trading cards. I would love to wear one of these to one of those conventions with mostly 8 year olds, or the launch of a new Pokemon game, and see what the reactions are.
This Pokemon cosplay = good, Pikachu rapist mask = bad
Know your enemy weak points. I can attest to the fact that the weak point of the common hobo is his face. If you repeatedly kick him in his weak point, he will eventually be defeated. Knowing is half the battle.
I have to give it to this guy – he has perseverance. Rest assured – the new Mario game isn’t quite this difficult. I guess they didn’t listen to all my suggestions.
I have brought great shame to my family
This man is batshit crazy. This isn’t one of those ‘virtual weddings’ where somebody marries their internet girlfriend. This man is marrying his character in a Nintendo DS game. The icing on the cake is the photo series of him taking the DS on vacation. What happens when it runs out of batteries? Does she die?
Is that kid looking at the side of the TV? Also the Mom appears to be a robot. Why do they have 2 copies of Mario? (One in the system, one on the table). Apparently the game is sophisticated enough to challenge every member of the family, much like their dress sense was challenged by the Cosby Show.
Non-Videogame Links
Interesting
CIA’s lost manual of trickery and deception. I love this stuff – and still fully believe that spy work is more like this and not at all like James Bond. Subtle stuff.
You always have to wonder with a tattoo whether you’re going to want it in a decade. That’s why those ink-ball ‘one laser treatment removal’ tattoos has potential. But now – LED animated tattoos? Money.
Did you ever dream of making a song that is downloaded 1 million times? If so – you’re on your way to making $167, like Lady GaGa. $167? Seriously? You can make that in 30 minutes selling drugs. Being a musician is overrated.
Scientists find that dirty children have stronger immune systems? Oh really? I’ve been saying this for years – and all of you Purell addicts are creating some sort of super virus that will doom us all.
There's a lot of mud in Africa, also lots of AIDS. If it's this easy to become totally immune to everything, I'd say they're doing it wrong over there
Fascinating article from Patrick Stewart about domestic violence. Maybe I’ll no longer solely associate him with /facepalm.
I wish there was some way to compare how dangerous things are. As it stands, I can only say this is very dangerous, and very extreme. He probably drinks a lot of Mountain Dew.
Funny
College Humor has been on a roll with their Twilight parodies. While the deleted sex scene parody might have been epic, this one takes the cake, especially given the strong finish. Well played.
You wonder why a restaurant called ‘Murder Burger’ is worried about their employees ‘becoming Mr. Stabby.’ Then again – Kiwis were always a little odd.
I know two things – 1) Will Smith probably wore these on Fresh Prince at some point and 2) These are my new wedding shoes.
Really, Canada’s Concerned Children’s Advertisers? I must admit – owning one of these things would be awesome, but very odd.
I thought I might put this in the non-videogames section as it translates across all retail. Everything is always in the magic back room.
I have brought great shame to my family
Dr. Grordbort is wanted by the UN Security Council for selling these to China. There will be much Aether Oscillation tonight.
Anything else worthwhile? Hit up the comments!
